Hello fellow True Blood lovers! I just heard of the term "truebies" recently, is that something HBO coined for this fan event? If it is, they're pretty good at making those things stick. Also, it's far superior to "twihards", which made me laugh for days. Anyway.
Been giving a lot of thought as to what I should do as "sheriff". I mean, apart from printing more money, and finally getting my kiddie pool full of jello and alligators. I have that authority, right? That's what I thought. I decided to be helpful and do some trip planning. Don't know where everyone else is coming from, but I am coming from Santa Cruz this Tuesday. Twitter is a great place to coordinate rides and carpool, since parking around the City Centre is expensive as all get out. There are three parking garages around the Centre, which, if you haven't been there, is a giant Westfield mall. These three are the garages recommended by the mall:
Ellis O'Farrell Garage
Union Square Garage on Parking Carma
Jessie Square Garage on Yelp
The address of the City Centre mall is 835 Market ST, San Francisco, CA (this is a Google map link) and the brilliant thing about that is that it's very close to the Powell street BART station. BART is awesome, I love BART. It smells like weird sometimes, but it's saved my sanity on many an occasion. I think that I will be parking at Daly City station and BART-ing it up to Powell st. The thing about that is, that the last train leaves around 1am. That should be enough time for the festivities to be over. I mean, heck, if it goes until midnight it will have been on for 3 hours. Also, many garages around the area close at about 1am as well. So, I am hoping that I don't have to leave early, but I am also preparing for it. I have to work on Wednesday!
The Century theatre there is where I saw "Clash of the Titans" after Wondercon. It's a pretty epic theatre. It's all fancy getting up there, cause you take an elevator from Macy's... or Nordstrom's... some department store. You'll see it, there is a huge "Century" light up sign outside the building.
Get there early! The pass specifies "no later than 8:30pm". Which actually means, "get there by 8pm" at least. I will cry blood tears if anyone gets shut out of the event for arriving late! If you won a VIP pass, you're guaranteed admission if you arrive on time. If you are a general admission ticket holder, the earlier you get there, the better your chances of seeing the show. So, like I said, GET THERE EARLY!
Feeling prepared? Good.
See you there, suckas!
Your friend, Jenn
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
In which I attempt to rationalize the Lost season finale.
It seems to me that this final season of Lost took the show to an entirely new realm. That was cool, but at the same time the show claimed that this is where it was meant to go the entire time. I don't buy it. I feel like I was baited and switched. For six years, we've watched a group of survivors from a plane crash on a supernatural desert island get their asses handed to them by smoke monsters, polar bears, "others", immortals and mysterious research scientists. Now we're rallying behind the "it was always about the characters' journeys" flag? Really? As Sawyer would say, "That's one hell of a long con, Doc."
I love sci-fi. The appeal that Lost had for me was the epic amounts of weird shit mixed up in the complicated stories of the castaways. The characters were great, but for Lost, it was also about the mysteries surrounding the island. Four toed statues and tattooed sharks. Why the hell did the Dharma initiative need polar bears?! Entering a series of numbers into a computer every 108 minutes to keep the island from blowing up seems like a serious design flaw, so why do it? Temples in the middle of the jungle and time travel. How did the group manage to get back to the island, but with one half landing the present and one half landing in 1977? These are some of the questions left unanswered by the finale, and some of the reasons that I'm not completely satisfied with what we got. All I needed was for someone to give some kind of goofy "Doctor Who"-esque explanation like "there was a rift between time and space running through the center of the island and the high volume of naturally occurring electromagnetic radiation allowed us to manipulate it". That's all they needed to say (they never said it). That would have validated the Dharma initiative AND the time traveling as well as one of the reasons why Whidmore was so freakin' interested in the island's goodies. He's like the Dr. Claw of Lost... he just doesn't quit.
I thought a lot about the finale today. I read a couple of opinion articles, which is not something that I normally do, but I wanted to see how some other "professionals" reacted. There was a wide spectrum of emotion: anger, joy, inspiration, disappointment. If you're looking for a constant in all these, it's tears. Seems like everyone cried for one reason or another. I wasn't moved to tears, but that's not for lack of good storytelling. It's just because I'm not a weenie. Here's some of the articles I read today and the short version of what they thought:
Salon.com thought it was irrelevant
Sci-fi wire believes we were "tricked into liking it"
NY Times says it's a "cop-out"
LA Times likens it to "It's A Wonderful Life"
No one that I have read is calling the season finale of Lost a great triumph. One of the things I most agreed with is that it seemed like a funeral for a favorite show. We were told repeatedly to "let go" during the finale, as it repeated one of the more-recent themes several times. The montages of fond memories the characters had with one another was cheesy, yet heartwarming. Just like at a funeral, you forgive the show its transgressions and glorify it's successes. Speaking of funerals, that's where we all happened to end up in the final scene. Coincidence? There are valid points to be found in what has been written about the Lost finale, but on the whole a lot of it seems to be journalists posing and fronting about how they were too intelligent for the heaps of fluff it dumped on us. It is easier to find fault with the things that the show didn't do, rather than with the things it did. At the end of the day, I am satisfied with the wrap up of the characters.
What the finale DID do was give us a sense of closure. Character arcs were wrapped up in neat little packages of redemption and forgiveness. If the island is purgatory, then Jacob is a collector of wayward souls. He brings them to his island of good and evil to be tried and tested and he helps them to forgive themselves for whatever wrongs they may have committed in their lives. The man in black is a force that must be stopped. He is a tool to help the castaways overcome their adversity. It's no coincidence that Jacob shares his name with the biblical character. From wikipedia.org: "According to the classic Jewish texts, Jacob, as the third and last patriarch, lives a life that parallels the descent of his offspring, the Jewish people, into the darkness of exile...". Jacob on the island is prone to mistakes and communication errors. He kills his brother and condemns him to life as the smoke monster. He is the leader of purgatory island and his followers are not always in agreement with him. In the bible, Jacob had a fraternal twin brother, Esau, whom their father commands to swear not to kill or attack Jacob. Yet another strong connection between the show and the bible. Heavy-handed religious references are not rare for Lost. The themes of faith vs. science and good vs. evil are woven throughout the series. This is why the discovery of the "heart of the island" being a light that needed protecting didn't bother me. What I did love is that Desmond, our constant, knew exactly what it was. As long as we're getting all bible-y, perhaps that makes Jack "Abraham" (come on... SHEPHERD) and Hurley "Isaac". It's worth pondering.
The shots of the wreckage and the end of the finale suggest that the castaways were killed in the initial plane crash. It's not an idea that I like, but it is one idea that helps the entire last season make a little more sense. It was revealed that the "flash-sideways" universe was created by the dead castaways as a place to meet up and literally "go into the light" together. On the island, characters died when they were finally at peace with themselves. Charlie got over his addictions and sacrificed himself to save everyone on the island. Sayid came to terms with his deeds and... sacrificed himself to save all his friends. Jin and Sun died together. Sun, because she was trapped in the wreckage of a submarine, and Jin because he refused to leave her side. Their rocky marriage and all the crap they had gone through in the past was pushed aside and they realized how important to each other they were. Probably the most dramatic of all was Jack, the doctor with a God complex and daddy issues, who takes the weight of the island on his shoulders once again and SHEPHERDS everyone to safety, knowingly and willingly sacrificing himself so that the light would be replenished (he died for their sins), with a very Jesus-like wound in his side. I'm amazed they didn't add the crown of thorns in there, just for good measure.
In the "flash-sideways" verse, our heroes are living relatively un-thrilling lives. They seem to be neither extremely happy nor extremely sad. Locke is engaged to Helen, but is still in the chair. Jack has a son with Juliet. Sayid's lady, Nadia, is alive, but married to his brother. Sawyer and Miles are cops. Hurley is the luckiest man on Earth and everything works out for him. Sun and Jin are lovers with no prospects to get married, and she's still preggers. Their past life hangups are still following them around in the universe they have created, however, and it is not until they are fully able to let go of these hangups that they are led to the multi-denominational church of the omni-God. When the characters come to terms with themselves and make peace with whatever it was that was haunting them, they are touched by a loved one (or in Locke's case, Jack) and experience a moment of revelation followed by nirvana. Locke's moment of nirvana came when he was able to move his legs after his operation. He was able to let go of the guilt of the plane crash that he piloted with his father inside that left him paralyzed when he let Jack operate. Chain reaction style, the characters are relieved of their suffering and reunited with the ones they love. Sayid is reunited with Shannon. Sayid associates Nadia with his old self, guilt and pain. He met Shannon when he was on the island and she accepted him for who he was. He was able to become a new person, a good person, and that is the man whom Shannon fell in love with. Shannon was able to let go of the petty, spoilt-brat lifestyle she had led before when she was on the island, and in the sideways verse when she saved her brother from the muggers. They touched when Sayid jumped out of the car and saved her. Sawyer ends up with Juliet because he was able to really love her when he made a new life for himself in Dharmaville as the responsible head of security. Kate reminded him too much of his old self, he loved her too, but his heart really belonged with Juliet. Just as Kate reminded Sawyer of himself, Sawyer reminded Kate of herself. He was the bad boy whom she'd doubtlessly dated several times in her old life and in Jack she found her redemption. When she was with Jack she would try and do good, to help people like he did. When she was with Sawyer, she was under his selfish influence and acted rashly. Jack had flashbacks when he met Kate and Locke in the sideways verse, but his real redemption came when he touched his father's casket. He came to terms with his father and really forgave him for all his faults. When he was able to do that, he entered the church with his dad and rejoined all the people he loves. His father able to forgive himself and was therefore able to love Jack and show him the emotion that he never could while he was alive.
The island brought the castaways there to sort out who they really were, and it gave them a reason to be who they wanted to be. The finale did a beautiful job of sculpting these character lines so that the audience was happy with the result. It all makes sense, character wise, nothing is left out, and hardly anyone was forgotten. Even Vincent the dog got screen time during the finale, as it wound down full circle. The opening scene in the pilot, Jack wakes up in a bamboo forest to Vincent's barking. In the closing scene, he is in the same location, but this time, his eyes are closing and he is dying. Vincent lies down with Jack in a (kinda cheap) pull-at-your-heartstrings moment.
The character development in Lost was superb. I would say, some of the best on TV ever. The intricate storyline and wacky twists were relevant to each character's growth. I would have liked to have had more concrete answers to some of the sci-fi related questions the series brought up, but then, when did they ever answer those? I think the show could have done with one more season to more thoroughly wrap up some of the questions they left hanging. There are loose ends, a few too many for my taste, and it seems kind of sloppy when all is said and done. The finale finally told us definitively what Lost was about and did a great job of making it biblical and spiritual, but not preachy. The message was one of redemption and salvation. Lost's message said it was okay to make mistakes, nobody's perfect, and it is never too late for second chances.
I love sci-fi. The appeal that Lost had for me was the epic amounts of weird shit mixed up in the complicated stories of the castaways. The characters were great, but for Lost, it was also about the mysteries surrounding the island. Four toed statues and tattooed sharks. Why the hell did the Dharma initiative need polar bears?! Entering a series of numbers into a computer every 108 minutes to keep the island from blowing up seems like a serious design flaw, so why do it? Temples in the middle of the jungle and time travel. How did the group manage to get back to the island, but with one half landing the present and one half landing in 1977? These are some of the questions left unanswered by the finale, and some of the reasons that I'm not completely satisfied with what we got. All I needed was for someone to give some kind of goofy "Doctor Who"-esque explanation like "there was a rift between time and space running through the center of the island and the high volume of naturally occurring electromagnetic radiation allowed us to manipulate it". That's all they needed to say (they never said it). That would have validated the Dharma initiative AND the time traveling as well as one of the reasons why Whidmore was so freakin' interested in the island's goodies. He's like the Dr. Claw of Lost... he just doesn't quit.
I thought a lot about the finale today. I read a couple of opinion articles, which is not something that I normally do, but I wanted to see how some other "professionals" reacted. There was a wide spectrum of emotion: anger, joy, inspiration, disappointment. If you're looking for a constant in all these, it's tears. Seems like everyone cried for one reason or another. I wasn't moved to tears, but that's not for lack of good storytelling. It's just because I'm not a weenie. Here's some of the articles I read today and the short version of what they thought:
Salon.com thought it was irrelevant
Sci-fi wire believes we were "tricked into liking it"
NY Times says it's a "cop-out"
LA Times likens it to "It's A Wonderful Life"
No one that I have read is calling the season finale of Lost a great triumph. One of the things I most agreed with is that it seemed like a funeral for a favorite show. We were told repeatedly to "let go" during the finale, as it repeated one of the more-recent themes several times. The montages of fond memories the characters had with one another was cheesy, yet heartwarming. Just like at a funeral, you forgive the show its transgressions and glorify it's successes. Speaking of funerals, that's where we all happened to end up in the final scene. Coincidence? There are valid points to be found in what has been written about the Lost finale, but on the whole a lot of it seems to be journalists posing and fronting about how they were too intelligent for the heaps of fluff it dumped on us. It is easier to find fault with the things that the show didn't do, rather than with the things it did. At the end of the day, I am satisfied with the wrap up of the characters.
What the finale DID do was give us a sense of closure. Character arcs were wrapped up in neat little packages of redemption and forgiveness. If the island is purgatory, then Jacob is a collector of wayward souls. He brings them to his island of good and evil to be tried and tested and he helps them to forgive themselves for whatever wrongs they may have committed in their lives. The man in black is a force that must be stopped. He is a tool to help the castaways overcome their adversity. It's no coincidence that Jacob shares his name with the biblical character. From wikipedia.org: "According to the classic Jewish texts, Jacob, as the third and last patriarch, lives a life that parallels the descent of his offspring, the Jewish people, into the darkness of exile...". Jacob on the island is prone to mistakes and communication errors. He kills his brother and condemns him to life as the smoke monster. He is the leader of purgatory island and his followers are not always in agreement with him. In the bible, Jacob had a fraternal twin brother, Esau, whom their father commands to swear not to kill or attack Jacob. Yet another strong connection between the show and the bible. Heavy-handed religious references are not rare for Lost. The themes of faith vs. science and good vs. evil are woven throughout the series. This is why the discovery of the "heart of the island" being a light that needed protecting didn't bother me. What I did love is that Desmond, our constant, knew exactly what it was. As long as we're getting all bible-y, perhaps that makes Jack "Abraham" (come on... SHEPHERD) and Hurley "Isaac". It's worth pondering.
The shots of the wreckage and the end of the finale suggest that the castaways were killed in the initial plane crash. It's not an idea that I like, but it is one idea that helps the entire last season make a little more sense. It was revealed that the "flash-sideways" universe was created by the dead castaways as a place to meet up and literally "go into the light" together. On the island, characters died when they were finally at peace with themselves. Charlie got over his addictions and sacrificed himself to save everyone on the island. Sayid came to terms with his deeds and... sacrificed himself to save all his friends. Jin and Sun died together. Sun, because she was trapped in the wreckage of a submarine, and Jin because he refused to leave her side. Their rocky marriage and all the crap they had gone through in the past was pushed aside and they realized how important to each other they were. Probably the most dramatic of all was Jack, the doctor with a God complex and daddy issues, who takes the weight of the island on his shoulders once again and SHEPHERDS everyone to safety, knowingly and willingly sacrificing himself so that the light would be replenished (he died for their sins), with a very Jesus-like wound in his side. I'm amazed they didn't add the crown of thorns in there, just for good measure.
In the "flash-sideways" verse, our heroes are living relatively un-thrilling lives. They seem to be neither extremely happy nor extremely sad. Locke is engaged to Helen, but is still in the chair. Jack has a son with Juliet. Sayid's lady, Nadia, is alive, but married to his brother. Sawyer and Miles are cops. Hurley is the luckiest man on Earth and everything works out for him. Sun and Jin are lovers with no prospects to get married, and she's still preggers. Their past life hangups are still following them around in the universe they have created, however, and it is not until they are fully able to let go of these hangups that they are led to the multi-denominational church of the omni-God. When the characters come to terms with themselves and make peace with whatever it was that was haunting them, they are touched by a loved one (or in Locke's case, Jack) and experience a moment of revelation followed by nirvana. Locke's moment of nirvana came when he was able to move his legs after his operation. He was able to let go of the guilt of the plane crash that he piloted with his father inside that left him paralyzed when he let Jack operate. Chain reaction style, the characters are relieved of their suffering and reunited with the ones they love. Sayid is reunited with Shannon. Sayid associates Nadia with his old self, guilt and pain. He met Shannon when he was on the island and she accepted him for who he was. He was able to become a new person, a good person, and that is the man whom Shannon fell in love with. Shannon was able to let go of the petty, spoilt-brat lifestyle she had led before when she was on the island, and in the sideways verse when she saved her brother from the muggers. They touched when Sayid jumped out of the car and saved her. Sawyer ends up with Juliet because he was able to really love her when he made a new life for himself in Dharmaville as the responsible head of security. Kate reminded him too much of his old self, he loved her too, but his heart really belonged with Juliet. Just as Kate reminded Sawyer of himself, Sawyer reminded Kate of herself. He was the bad boy whom she'd doubtlessly dated several times in her old life and in Jack she found her redemption. When she was with Jack she would try and do good, to help people like he did. When she was with Sawyer, she was under his selfish influence and acted rashly. Jack had flashbacks when he met Kate and Locke in the sideways verse, but his real redemption came when he touched his father's casket. He came to terms with his father and really forgave him for all his faults. When he was able to do that, he entered the church with his dad and rejoined all the people he loves. His father able to forgive himself and was therefore able to love Jack and show him the emotion that he never could while he was alive.
The island brought the castaways there to sort out who they really were, and it gave them a reason to be who they wanted to be. The finale did a beautiful job of sculpting these character lines so that the audience was happy with the result. It all makes sense, character wise, nothing is left out, and hardly anyone was forgotten. Even Vincent the dog got screen time during the finale, as it wound down full circle. The opening scene in the pilot, Jack wakes up in a bamboo forest to Vincent's barking. In the closing scene, he is in the same location, but this time, his eyes are closing and he is dying. Vincent lies down with Jack in a (kinda cheap) pull-at-your-heartstrings moment.
The character development in Lost was superb. I would say, some of the best on TV ever. The intricate storyline and wacky twists were relevant to each character's growth. I would have liked to have had more concrete answers to some of the sci-fi related questions the series brought up, but then, when did they ever answer those? I think the show could have done with one more season to more thoroughly wrap up some of the questions they left hanging. There are loose ends, a few too many for my taste, and it seems kind of sloppy when all is said and done. The finale finally told us definitively what Lost was about and did a great job of making it biblical and spiritual, but not preachy. The message was one of redemption and salvation. Lost's message said it was okay to make mistakes, nobody's perfect, and it is never too late for second chances.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Holy crap!
Watched Lost yesterday. I can't help but feel like the end of the show is going to let me down. I hope it doesn't. They've been giving us a lot of up front answers to questions that have been collecting since season one. It seems to me like they have been reading back screenplays and writing down things that they haven't resolved yet. They have a ways to go, but the finale is 4 hours long. 4 hours! Only 2.5 of which are going to be programming, I'm sure. Here is what I hope for: the finale will be action packed and suspenseful, while neatly wrapping up every major character's story line from both universes. I hope that there is more to the island than a light that needs protecting, or that they will expand on the notion of that "light" so that it makes more intellectual sense. Also, I wanna see Jack do something Jacob-ish and supernatural. I'm still insanely curious as to how they are going to handle the parallel universe (not on the island).
Found this while looking for ideas for a Lost theme party:
Found this while looking for ideas for a Lost theme party:
The Sayid:
4 parts Toothpaste
1 part spider web
2 parts boar urine
1 part sand
Mix ingredients in hollowed-out car battery. Funnel down enemy's throat until he tells you where the fuck the bomb is.
Sayid was always my favorite character. Morally ambiguous, tormented, trying to turn his life around, on the way to reunite with the woman he loves, ruggedly good looking, fucking badass... If the end of his storyline is really him running off with a backpack full of dynamite so fast that we're not even sure he's dead until it's mentioned, I'm gonna be pissed. That is all I will say about that.
Also:
The Smoke Monster:
1/2 oz. blackberry brandy
2 oz. Canadian whiskey
1 tsp. fresh lemon juice
1/2 oz. orange juice
1/2 tsp. superfine sugar
After 2-3 of these you will TEAR SHIT UP.
Again, Mr. Smoke Monster better have a freakin brilliant showdown throwdown. I'm expecting a lot here.
In other news:
Thought briefly today about getting a new job and moving back to San Jose. Decided against it for now. The thought of leaving my dilapidated little house with the cute dogs and kitty and ex-slanty shanty made me sad. I'd miss my silly roommates antics. They put up with a lot of bullshit from me. I'm sure it won't be easy finding someone else who will let me leave shit everywhere and hog the TV for hours at a time. Also, I have only been at my current job for about three months now. I neither like it or dislike it, but the pay is decent and it's close to my house. I also told myself that I would go back to school in the fall and I am registered at the local CC. So, this is happening. I don't even like Santa Cruz a whole heck of a lot, but it's like the mafia... once you thought you were out, it sucks you back in. Or it just sucks. Heh.
Okay, time to do... things.
Ta!
Your friend, Jenn
Ta!
Your friend, Jenn
All right, here we go.
Over the past week or so, I have been putting a lot of thought into rebooting this blog. Also putting much thought into how I don't like the word "blog". It sounds so... blaaaaaahhhhg. I'll call it web-journaling. Wurnaling, burnaling, webal, inter-nal, inter-ling... well, I guess nothing else has the same appeal as shortened "web log". Whatevz, this is not a fight I will win.
I appreciate what blogging (web-journaling) does for my internal monologue. Thoughts that have been hanging out in my head have a place to go without necessarily finding little hiding spots in conversations with my friends. Sometimes I end up sounding narcissistic, or rude, or just plain ridiculous. Putting those musings that have no place in polite or even interesting conversation in their place (the internet) helps me out greatly in the not-boring-my-friends-to-death category.
Not that I'm saying I'm just going to ramble on aimlessly. I intend to expand on some of the things I've been thinking about. Indeed, I hope this doesn't become just a dumping ground for my brain. I am quite proud of some of the things I have written down in the past. I used to be a web journaling fiend, back in the high school and college days. Livejournal was the longest lived. It was a good place, for a while. I was on Xanga, until it became the myspace of journaling websites. Setting the wayback machine to waaaay back, I was on Open Diary. Well, I enjoyed the heck out of trolling people on Open Diary, anyway.
I was never a big private journal keeper. I have notes jotted down in various notebooks, but I have never really spilled deep dark secrets into the pages of a little pink padlocked book. Maybe I don't like to dwell on things like that. Maybe I am just in the habit of sharing things that bother me with people who will listen to me vent. Maybe the "publishing" aspect of web journaling validates what I have to say. Maybe I like that strangers might read this and wonder things about my life, who I am and what I do. Maybe I like that I can't lose the internet, and my various writings still exist in the servers of the various sites that I have logged onto. I don't really have just one reason for coming back to blah-ging. Maybe I just missed it.
Perhaps it's because I don't really have anything terribly interesting going on in my life right now. I feel like I am in a transition phase. In the past, these transitions have been swift and premeditated. Preparing me for "real" change. High school to college to job to job to job to... life. I am in the middle of deciding where I'm going to take this show, and there aren't any easy answers. It's easy for me to simply exist here in this quiet beach town with my job that pays me just enough. I have a nice living situation, a love life, and plenty of entertainment. The search for a greater purpose is really the only thing suggesting to me that this comfortable life might be a trap. I live in the land of the lotus eaters.
I feel that discussing my options and thoughts in this particular manner could lead me to a greater insight as it has in the past. Perhaps it will even help someone else. Hey, I mean, I can dream.
After writing all that, I find myself wondering why it took me so long to actually commit to starting a post. I must have logged on to the blogger website 3 or 4 times over a space of days before actually starting to type this. Clearly, I like to hear myself talk. I don't know what it was. Maybe I'm concerned about what I will dig up. Maybe not. Anywho, damage is done.
Night night, internets!
Your friend, Jenn
I appreciate what blogging (web-journaling) does for my internal monologue. Thoughts that have been hanging out in my head have a place to go without necessarily finding little hiding spots in conversations with my friends. Sometimes I end up sounding narcissistic, or rude, or just plain ridiculous. Putting those musings that have no place in polite or even interesting conversation in their place (the internet) helps me out greatly in the not-boring-my-friends-to-death category.
Not that I'm saying I'm just going to ramble on aimlessly. I intend to expand on some of the things I've been thinking about. Indeed, I hope this doesn't become just a dumping ground for my brain. I am quite proud of some of the things I have written down in the past. I used to be a web journaling fiend, back in the high school and college days. Livejournal was the longest lived. It was a good place, for a while. I was on Xanga, until it became the myspace of journaling websites. Setting the wayback machine to waaaay back, I was on Open Diary. Well, I enjoyed the heck out of trolling people on Open Diary, anyway.
I was never a big private journal keeper. I have notes jotted down in various notebooks, but I have never really spilled deep dark secrets into the pages of a little pink padlocked book. Maybe I don't like to dwell on things like that. Maybe I am just in the habit of sharing things that bother me with people who will listen to me vent. Maybe the "publishing" aspect of web journaling validates what I have to say. Maybe I like that strangers might read this and wonder things about my life, who I am and what I do. Maybe I like that I can't lose the internet, and my various writings still exist in the servers of the various sites that I have logged onto. I don't really have just one reason for coming back to blah-ging. Maybe I just missed it.
Perhaps it's because I don't really have anything terribly interesting going on in my life right now. I feel like I am in a transition phase. In the past, these transitions have been swift and premeditated. Preparing me for "real" change. High school to college to job to job to job to... life. I am in the middle of deciding where I'm going to take this show, and there aren't any easy answers. It's easy for me to simply exist here in this quiet beach town with my job that pays me just enough. I have a nice living situation, a love life, and plenty of entertainment. The search for a greater purpose is really the only thing suggesting to me that this comfortable life might be a trap. I live in the land of the lotus eaters.
I feel that discussing my options and thoughts in this particular manner could lead me to a greater insight as it has in the past. Perhaps it will even help someone else. Hey, I mean, I can dream.
After writing all that, I find myself wondering why it took me so long to actually commit to starting a post. I must have logged on to the blogger website 3 or 4 times over a space of days before actually starting to type this. Clearly, I like to hear myself talk. I don't know what it was. Maybe I'm concerned about what I will dig up. Maybe not. Anywho, damage is done.
Night night, internets!
Your friend, Jenn
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