Fun with screenshots.

Don't get me wrong, I love Dragon Age 2 a LOT - enough to have played it through twice so far.  I like that it's not about a typical hero and I like that good and evil are shades of grey.  BUT, there are so many times when I wished I was writing the dialogue.  If I were to be honest with myself, it's probably a good idea that I did not, because it would have ended up a lot like this:

I still think it's an improvement... It's what MY Hawke would have done, you know, if she were me.

My thoughts on Dragon Age 2

 Meet my Hawke. The character creator is great except that you can't mod the default faces.

I finished my first play through of Dragon Age 2 on Tuesday, exactly a week after I started playing.  I played a female mage and I customized my Hawke's face.  I love role playing games.  I love dice games and text games and I really love the RPGs that Bioware has put out in the past.  Mass Effect 2 is my jam.  I think I have a serious addiction to the game and I'm not planning on doing anything about that anytime soon.  Anyway... I enjoy making any character I play "mine".  I appreciate any and all customization options that I can get, which I really enjoyed about DA:O.  In the first hour of game play in DA2, I was only slightly put off that I wasn't able to choose as much about my Hawke and her background as I would have liked.  Every Hawke comes from Lothering in the same way for the same reason.  In the first couple minutes, you don't even choose her (I'm gonna stick with the fem pronoun for Hawke, here) looks.  It's like Varric's telling the story to the Seeker with how he wished Hawke looked.  While that's an amusing thought, I would have liked to have customized my face before any actual combat.

Ah Varric, my man through and through.

As the game went on, however, the choices I made with my character and my companions really did make me feel like it was my game after all.  It's more open ended than other games I've played.  You really do have choices, and the choices you make affect everyone... no pressure.  You're trying to make your way in the city of Kirkwall and provide for your family.  Just so happens that you're (or your family is) an apostate mage at odds with forces beyond your control, and you make your money by fighting thugs and monsters.  Everyone needs something all the time, but it doesn't feel like you're doing chores by cleaning up the city.  The things you're asked to do by strangers or your companions make sense.  There are side quests within side quests, and once you're involved with certain people in the city, you keep seeing them around.  The game takes place over 10 years, and it feels like it.  Though no one seems to age (except maybe Bodhan), you start to feel the length of time you've spent in the city.  You see evidence of the choices you've made everywhere, for better or for worse.  I enjoyed that the decisions I was faced with weren't merely black or white.  Nearly everything was shades of grey and it really added depth to the city, my character and my companions.  Just like IRL, your friends have something to say about the choices you make.

Fenris ALWAYS has something to say about the choices you make.

Relationships in DA2 are definitely more substantial and realistic than they were in DA:O.  Used to be, I could woo all my companions with gifts and pander to them to gain universal approval.  I was able to maintain positive relationships with both Alistair and Morrigan in DA:O, but if they were my companions in DA2, under the new friendship/rivalry system, that would be near impossible.  You have the option to try and romance anyone you want, regardless of gender - which is awesome.  I didn't exactly find the romance in DA2 lacking, but I wasn't completely won over, either.  My Warden-y and royal love affair with Alistair in Origins was a hard act to follow.  Your DA2 companions are their own people with their own agendas.  They wear their own clothes and have their own histories that they discuss in hilarious side convos that make the hours you spend walking around Kirkwall and surrounding areas a treat.  They make their own choices as well, and some of those choices can be seriously disappointing and friendship-straining. If you want friendships with your companions, you have to take them with you, and you really have to choose your party carefully for each quest.  Additionally, you have to know your companions and their desires and choose carefully what to say to them in conversation.  I'm sure I've never offended someone so thoroughly until I met Fenris.  I have a whole slough of opinions on Anders' character development from Awakening to DA2, but I'll save it for now.  I knew people like Anders in college.  They weren't mages, but they were just as brooding, resentful, and full of unrest.  

Anders' actions got seriously under my skin, which is good. Right and wrong is no longer simple.

  I couldn't help noting the similarities and differences between DA2 and DA: Origins, but I don't think they were meant to stand completely apart.  For the most part, DA2 is an upgrade, but it's also a completely different game.  Your characters are totally different people, which is great.  You're a hero in Origins.  You have a clear task and everything you do is moving you toward your goal of defeating the blight.  You're killing mainly darkspawn: soulless monsters who exist only to destroy everything that is beautiful and wonderful.  Getting rid of them is a favor to everyone, and Grey Wardens are the only ones who can end the blight.  My Warden is a complete girl scout and savior of worlds.  Try to find someone who would say something negative about her, just try... it's impossible (as long as you stay away from Anora).

Isolde: Grey Warden, circle mage, and templar seductress at your service.

 In DA2, your journey toward becoming champion and what you do as champion is what you make it.  Horrible things happen to Hawke and her companions that can influence your decisions.  It isn't a happy story by any means.  You have to choose sides, and when you do, you make enemies.  You're fighting people for the most part.  People who have opinions, history, and who stand for something whether it be good or bad.  By the end of the game, Kirkwall was littered with people who would be glad at the news of Hawke's death.  I never really felt like a hero in DA2.  There was more guilt and heartache associated with my choices, and that was very compelling.  Kirkwall is a mess, and like the Seeker implies, a lot of that is directly related to Hawke's presence.  My Hawke's moral compass is completely skewed, and her companions don't help for the most part.  Several times I found myself wondering what would happen if my Warden and my Champion were to meet.  I'm pretty sure they wouldn't get along.

Brotherly love? Tensions rise in the house of Tethras.

Gameplay-wise, there is plenty to compare and contrast.  I love that Hawke talks!  She's funny and sassy.  The female voice actress is great.  All of the voice acting is great, really.  I was giddy to have Eve Myles as Merrill as my companion.  I love Torchwood, and it was like hanging out with Gwen when Merrill was in my party.  The combat is fun and beautiful.  I took control of Varric quite often just because the sound Bianca makes when she fires is super satisfying.  Instead of merely getting past the fighting, I enjoyed it quite a lot.  I did miss the puzzley bits that were in DA:O.  Prancing through the Fade, the gauntlet, and the little quirky things that gave you crazy rewards were some of the things that made Origins such a great game.  I also miss that you couldn't have convos just anywhere with your companions.  Alistair professed his love for my Warden in the Deep Roads between driving off hoards of darkspawn... it was rather romantic.  I like the new crafting setup.  Makes sense that a city girl like the Champion would outsource her healing draughts and rune making.  The map has some plus and minus points.  I like knowing where I'm going, but I was using the map as a crutch and looking at it waaay too much. I feel like there's less loot, but the loot you find is generally better quality - which is also a plus.  You don't pick up a bazillion wolf pelts and crappy armor, and the junk you find is clearly labeled.  I never really had a problem with my inventory getting too full, which was a constant headache of mine in Origins.   DA2 is more about the choices you make, which I appreciate.  In a way, it's more of an RPG than Origins, which has a prescribed ending.

Hard choices show you who your real friends are.

 From the first hour of game play to the last, DA2 really did it for me.  It's been the only thing on my mind since I started playing, which I think speaks pretty well for the game.  Your actions in Origins are not forgotten.  Your Warden is mentioned several times by different people, though not too much as to go overboard.  There are some well-placed cameo appearances by some favorites.  The storytelling mode made for an interesting experience overall.  I had only a slight idea of what the final confrontation would be like.  The pieces were put together slowly, and made the last battle really exciting.  I'm currently in the middle of Act 1 with a fem rogue now, and so far it's been a completely different game.  I can't wait to see what will change now that I've gone through it once.  We'll see! Overall, I love DA2.  It's worth my time and money and I can only see myself becoming more obsessed over time.  Which is something that I enjoy.  I'd definitely recommend playing through Origins and Awakening first, but I'm also biased.  I don't think anyone would miss much by starting with DA2.  If anything, it will make you want to go back and play its predecessor games.  As you can see, I went screenshot crazy.  Here's some more of my favs:

I'll admit that I had tummy butterflies when I saw Alistair again. Even though his face was changed for the worse.

"I'll show you why mages are feared!"

Isabela is definitely a favorite. Here, she calls Aveline "Lady Man-Hands".

Anders and Fenris in the same party = oil and water. You can't win.

Flemeth looked so freaking badass. A drastic change from her crazy hermit routine in Origins. She's more Gandalf in DA2, if Gandalf could turn into a dragon.

Maybe I wear too much pink...

Well hello again, dear readers.  It has recently come to my attention that it has been a while since I've updated this column.  Almost a year, in fact.  I'm not going to get into it, but let's just say I've been a busy girl.  I am not one to leave the fashion-forward in the dust, but make no mistake - I have priorities.  Moving on, this week I've decided to enlighten you all with a few tips about wearing the color pink.  I'm sure you've noticed that pink is a color that I prefer regardless of its reputation for being favored by school girls and "soccer moms" over 40.  I make pink look good, and with my help you could too.

As you can see, I've done you the favor of putting together some outfits for your viewing pleasure.  Let's start with the floral print.  Now, big floral prints are very easy to do very wrong.  You could end up looking like a color-confused mess, or worse - like a grandmother.  The key is to pair a floral print with a solid.  More than one printed piece in an outfit is a recipe for disaster.  As you see below, I've gone a step further and paired this pink floral corset dress with a solid black Alexander McQueen leather jacket.  The black leather against the otherwise innocent pale pink dress gives this ensemble an unexpected "bad girl" vibe.  Honestly, the "bad girl" look isn't hard to get at all, it's not looking trashy that's the hard part.  Also, mastering the attitude, but that is a lesson for another time.  The Fendi cut-out pumps emphasize the jacket, while the Christian Louboutin ruffled clutch plays to the feminine aspect.  It is okay to play with color, ladies.  Not all of your accessories need to be the same color, as they are below, but there should be some kind of thought that goes into them.  When in doubt, pair with neutrals.

Pink is one of those very flexible colors. There is a shade of pink for everyone, no matter what your coloring.  I happen to be endowed with the right coloring for a variety of shades of pink, which is one of the reasons why I adore it.  It is versatile in more than just shades, pink is a color that is acceptable on any occasion.  Below, I've put together an outfit that I would consider "everyday" wear, or "every night" as it were.  As you know, I am all for vamping up my wardrobe while at work.  I'm not above participating in the Fangtasia dress code, but I am not always there.  I occasionally have business which does not involve your favorite vampire bar, and I like to dress appropriately.  If you're not ready for all-over pink, and let's face it - so few are,  try mix and matching like I've done below with this Phase Eight cashmere bow cardigan.  Paired with a dark denim, like these Dolce & Gabbana jeans, the bold pink is toned down yet still noticeable.  Nude pumps are leg-lengthening and best of all, they look expensive.  The accessories all have something in common, in this case, the color black.  The Marc Jacobs bag is elegant, yet casual.  The jewelry ties (literally, ha) the outfit together and moves both the pink and black colors around.

 Getting ready for a night on the town?  Excellent!  Nothing gets my fangs out quite like a good reason to play dress up.  Like I said earlier, it's okay to play with color, ladies.  As you'll see below, navy blue sets off hot pink nicely and it's not an overdone combination.  While I do enjoy accessorizing, if elegant is what you're going for it's better to keep your outfit on the minimalist side.  This Temperley London Thandie minidress is complemented by navy Fendi cut-out platform pumps and a navy Eaton clutch purse wallet.  It is not necessary to match your shoes to your bag, anyone who says it's necessary is either trying to sell you a matching bag and shoe set or is tragically living in the past.  You can see below that while bag and shoes are shades of navy blue, I have varied the leather finish from suede on the shoes to a faux alligator finish on the clutch.  A pair of fancy earrings like the Alexander McQueen pair below, will add that "pizazz" to your ensemble and catch the light, drawing attention to your face.

So there you have it, some tips on wearing pink direct from the master.  I have done my community service for the week.  I am charging you all now to spread this knowledge you've just gained to others who are less fashion-savvy than yourselves.  However, if you are going to insist on mixing prints or overworking that tired pink and brown color combo, you can refrain from telling people that you read my column.  

Until next time, Pam.

The ensembles that you see pictured were created using the fabulous http://www.polyvore.com site.

In which I try not to sound like a dick while talking about why celebrity fundraising annoys me.

I am generally against celebrity fundraising campaigns.  Sure, they're for a good cause.  Fundraising campaigns are generally for a good cause.  Breast cancer, ASPCA, Haiti, or New Orleans.  Most recently, there is the big campaign to "end bullying" in schools.  Good luck, let me know when that happens.  Ellen DeGeneres tweeted this statement like, 5 minutes ago: "Text the word "KIND" to 85944 to donate $5 to @TrevorProject and help end bullying. Remember to respond with "Yes" Thanks!".

Now, the Trevor Project is an extremely worthy organization which aims to help prevent suicide and crisis among LGBTQ youth.  What got me riled was the phrasing "...and help end bullying".  I am sure that since there have been people on Earth, there has been bullying of some kind.  It goes with the human condition.  Basically, this is some kind of false advertising.  It's great that she wants to publicize the project.  What I would really respect is if she took her show to the Trevor Project HQ and showed her audience what exactly it is that they're doing and how people can help.  Bullying will never be over.  Anyone who has ever seen an episode of Sesame Street or Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood (or has a conscience) knows that bullying is wrong.

The part that I appreciate is that Ellen is raising awareness about this project to help curb bullying and get more resources and counseling out there for LGBTQ youth.  The part that seems phony to me is tweeting out a number that folks can text to donate money.  I really hope that is not the end of Ellen's effort.  In the time we live in, where social interactions and entertainment are dominated by digital media, the easiest thing to do is to make a YouTube video, host an Ebay auction, or start a Tweet-a-thon.  Everyone who uses those services knows how easy they are.  It's the use of them that makes fundraising or cause-supporting seem half-hearted to me.  I don't know if I am the only one that feels this way, but there it is.

I have mixed feelings about celebrities using their influence for causes.  Sure, it's a good thing that they're not spending ALL their money on Hollywood real estate and drugs, but publicly supporting a cause because the public eye is on you comes off as self-righteous.  It's like a celebrity can do no wrong if they're raising money for a cause.  You can't speak out against it, there is the iron curtain of "You can't touch me because I am raising money for charity".  End justifies the means indeed.

Southern Vampire Mistress: Sookie Stackhouse in Words and Pictures

I am a huge fan of the “True Blood” series on HBO. I have been hooked since season 1, and have recently become more aware of the fan community surrounding the series. I had not read the books until recently, when I could no more stand the phrase, “well, in the books...”. So, in order to better understand the characters that I love so much and to avoid bookworm know-it-alls, I read the Southern Vampire Mysteries series by Charlaine Harris.

The HBO series is based on Harris' series, and HBO has no pretense of sticking strictly to the books. Sookie Stackhouse is the main character in both series and, while basically the same person in both stories, there are some pretty interesting differences in her character between book and show.

Well, in the books, (ha, I can say that now), Sookie is your basic every-girl with a catch; she can read minds. She is smart, loyal, no-nonsense, and dirt poor. She is a size 10, and refers to herself as “buxom”. Arlene is her best friend, and she considers Eric Northman to be both amusing and attractive. She often makes it a point to use words from her “word of the day calendar” in her internal monologue, which makes up the context of the book. Bill is her gateway-vampire. She is drawn to him because she cannot read his mind and because he is powerful and mysterious, much like in the show. However, book Sookie carries less virgin baggage and is more ready to mingle in the supernatural world. Her realization that she has fairy blood is downplayed and she takes it in stride as she is discovering all the other supernatural beings in Bon Temps and surrounding areas. The citizens of Bon Temps are more up front about their supernatural heritage and once Sookie enters that world, she is drawn in all the way in her own right. She makes a living off her ability as well as her wages from being a barmaid at Merlotte's bar and grill. Book Sookie is practical, yet emotional. Reading her character reveals a lot of insights into other characters as well as herself. Like a good southern girl, she has made up her own list of boundaries when it comes to using her telepathic gift.

Sookie in HBO's “True Blood” is based on Sookie Stackhouse from Harris' series, but her character is different and worthy in her own right. True Blood Sookie is stubborn, fierce, and sassy. She is very petite, but has been increasingly kicking ass in some violent situations. Sookie is very much like Buffy, but with less vampire slaying. She fell hard for Vampire Bill, and cut him major slack when he messed up time and time again. She refuses to believe ill of him and defends him even against damning evidence against him. Recently, at the end of season 3, it seems that she has finally cut it off with Bill as she revoked his invitation into her house. Her best friend is Tara, a minor character in the books, but in the show they grew up together like sisters. Sookie is like a sweet plum – every body wants a piece of her. Sookie's telepathic ability is exploited by the vampires, but it is her fairy blood that seems to be behind every major plot. Her fairy blood is a valuable commodity to vampires because it of its supposed ability to let a vampire walk in the sun. Sookie is as stubborn about her compassion for Bill as she is stubborn about her contempt for Eric Northman. She puts up a hard front when it comes to the Viking, but that front is becoming more and more compromised due to her ingestion of his blood and its ability to inspire erotic dreams and thoughts about him. Sookie does not enjoy working for Eric, but something always seems to come up that pressures her into doing business with him.

Whether you are a fan of the show, the books, or both, Sookie Stackhouse brings it in both mediums. Her essence is unchanged, but the differences in her character between words and film are both interesting and enlightening. The audience gets something new out of each encounter with Sookie, and clearly, it's something worthwhile.  

When Tara cries, take a shot.

It's down to the wire time in Bon Temps, ladies and gentlemen.  The make it or break it for the season.  HBO's done an excellent job of hyping the audience up for a big payoff at the end with teaser clips, hints and some not-so-subtle foreshadowing.  I suppose we're going to find out how big a payoff it is going to be very soon.  Like, 2 episodes soon.

Last week's episode felt like a lot of setting up for the next three to come.  It was a yawn festival, in short.  There was nothing terribly interesting to me besides Russell's AWESOME news flash.  It's moments like that which make me love True Blood.  I was totes excited for this week.  Time to throw it down, right?  Well, things were thrown, and there were definitely a bunch of "FINALLY!!!" moments.  However, in my opinion, most of them were more than slightly disappointing.  We finally got the carrot they were dangling and it turns out to be just a carrot... Or something.  Anyway.

It seems to me that, at least lately, True Blood has been trying to top itself over and over for how ridiculous and awesome it can be.  Some kind of sick neck-twisting, jaw-dropping, shock-inspiring game.  It also seems to me that in the past few episodes, there have been clear winners of the episodes.  Last week's winner was Russell.  Who can follow that? Let's see.

"Finally!!!" moment numero uno.  We know what Sookie is!:

"I'm a fairy? How fucking lame!"

I couldn't have said it better myself, Sookie.  For over two years now we have known that Sookie is something more than human.  She reads minds and has microwave finger powers.  You tell us she's a FAIRY?!  Like Tinkerbell?!  This better get more bad-ass and I mean like now.  If either Sookie or Bill take another trip to Fairy land gardens where the clouds are oh-so-fluffy and the air smells like warm root beer, I WILL throw up.  Oh, also, fairies are vampire heroin!  Vampires were all over fairies like fat kids on cake until they ate them all up.  I guess that make a little bit of sense.  More sense than Sookie having beer-flavored nipples, anyway.  Queen wants her so that she can hang out in the sun, blah blah.  That's what this has been about?  Sookie's blood is special and vampires want it bad.  Okay, fine.  For her reaction to the answer of one of the biggest mysteries on the show, Sookie scores: 1

Goddammit, Bill Compton, you wipe that smirk off your face or so help me!

This face, right here, is one of the main reasons I hate Bill.  He should start a company called "Condescension, Inc."  He may as well be saying "Let me break down the history of vampires and fairies in terms you can understand, darling".  For a lot of reasons, I don't understand how Sookie can stay with this man.  His total lack of respect for her intellect is definitely the one that pisses me off the most.  I mean, I understand that the nature of a human/vampire relationship isn't exactly going to be healthy.  However, Bill being a condescending jerk wad is not a result of his vampire state.  At least Eric doesn't underestimate her.  Bill is a pig, score: -1

What is it, Tara? Do you want him to dig or take shit to the car?!

If I took a drink every time Tara cried, I'd be sloshed by the middle of almost every episode this season.  I was very sorry to see Franklin die, but I understand why he had to go.  As a result of his psychopathic tendencies, Tara is even MORE fucked up!  Cool, so now she has even more shit that she is totally unable to deal with.  Aww Jason, I feel for you and your traumatic violent flashbacks.  Come over to my house and we can talk about it over a pint...  And Tara, great job covering up the scene of the crime.  I totally couldn't tell there was a huge puddle of vampire goo once you kicked some dust over it.  No one will ever know.  Disturbed side of Jason scores: 1, Tara is an emotional basket-case yet again scores: -1

Sam owns another shirt besides that plaid thing?

So, I realize that this season almost every character is dealing with their past demons.  But SAM?!  Does he need any more demons than he already had?  The shitty adopted parents and then the shitty real parents?  The maenad?!  Shit, Sam!  I thought he had already filled his damage quota... apparently not.  I thought he bought Merlotte's with the $100,000 he swiped from MaryAnne!  Apparently not.  Apparently he needed to exploit his shifter skills to go robbing people of their ridiculous jewelry.  And who is that blonde skeez?!  Shame on you for not knowing better Sam, score: -1

Yeah, we get it. Everyone walks all over Sam Merlotte.  He's mad as hell and he's not gonna take it anymore!

I understand your violent outburst maybe slightly better now. Score: 1

The misery train's a comin'. All aboard.

I swear to God, Sam, if you don't stop this self-destructive bullshit soon you're going to be as dead to me as Tara.  Pick yourself up by your cowboy bootstraps and DEAL WITH IT.  That's why you were so great!  You're good at coping with the shit of life that the fan of destiny sprays at you!  Get back on the wagon, you're way sexier when you're the normal one.  Because I want to believe this is the last time you're going to stuff your miseries into a bottle, score: 1

Again with the face. 

Do you see?!  It seems to say all at once, "I know better than you so I am going to be patient and try to explain the complicated adult world of supernatural bullshit. Also, you are fragile and need to be protected, Bella. I mean Sookie.  Shit, forget I said that"  Score: -1

Oh Yvetta... don't you know anything about vampires?

LOLz at Yvetta thinking Eric was going to leave her an inheritance.  Bitch be trippin'!  Why is she still here?  Oh right, to show us that Eric can be a real asshole who has no feelings for humans, even sexy ones, and to warn us that we shouldn't fall too much in love with him because he's a lying piece of scum.  Is it going to work?  Prolly not.  Is Eric still wearing that black tank top?  Hell yeah!  Czech set down scores Eric: 1

Eric is scared. Pam is hott.

I know I am not the only hetero lady out there with a huuuuuge girl crush on Pam.  She's hot, she has the best clothes (and pumps), and she is, for all intents and purposes, Eric's better half.  I realize that Eric signing his assets over to Pam should be getting the message through to us that he thinks he's really going to meet the "true death".  I was too busy checking out Pam's outfit to comprehend.  Oh yeah, and we already know that Eric is shitting himself.  I would be too.  Eric and Pam panicking about this whole Russell-coming-to-get-him thing is definitely cause for alarm.  However, this scene with the will signing was slightly forced for my taste, and definitely not the best acting on the show.  Pam's skirt, score: 1, Redundant and overused scores Eric: -1

Guys, stop it! Don't fight over meeee...

Sookie does her best impression of Quinn from MTV's "Daria" and interrupts the boys who will be boys.  Bill earns some cred from his quips, "You should know, since you're now [Russell's] butt boy" and "That's why he went medieval on TV".  Sopie Anne sent Bill after Sookie in the first place.  Who's surprised?  I believe we will hear the rest of the story very soon.  I hope Sookie does too.  Bill using the vernacular scores him: 1, Eric wishes Sookie "the best" and scores himself: 1

Oh Summer... put 'em away.

Summer is so... silly.  She's so overkill it's kindof awesome.  Calling Hoyt "bear" and the dolls and the antiquing and the small minded comments she continually makes about Jessica and vampires in general.  So great!  I was hella embarassed for her in this scene.  I hope Hoyt came up with something better than, "It's not you, it's me".  Girl deserves herself someone who appreciates her biscuits.  Summer has a cute bra, score: 1, Hoyt is a gentleman, score: 1

OMG I LOVE TERRY

Arlene joins everyone else in Bon Temps who has haunted pasts.  Arlene's struggle, however, is slightly more legit.  The father of her unborn child was a serial killer!  He killed people she knows!  It's not just stuffed in her past, it's happening... to her... talk about coming back to haunt you.  And then Terry, the white knight, wants to marry her anyway and raise the kid as his own and surround it with love! AAAH! He's soo good!  Arlene really does have the best man in the world.  While her worries about her baby being evil are totally irrational, they fit with the superstitious nature of her character.  And she doesn't take her worries out on others violently or emotionally.  I am glad to see Arlene being developed.  I just hope whatever comes of her association with "the Wiccan" Holly doesn't suck. Arlene makes sense, score: 1, Terry really IS amazing, score: 2

"Finally!!!" moment number 2: Tara and Jason kiss

So glad this finally happened, even if Tara was crying and Jason was confused.  It seemed the natural thing to happen at that point.  Even if it was kind of a, "that's it?" moment as well.  It would have been waaaay worse if they'd had sex and then Jason told Tara that he was the one who shot Eggs.  Big ups to Jason for pulling it together and setting Tara straight.  It was a touching scene, even if Tara was in it.  Jason keeps it in his pants for once, score: 1, Tara should have developed Stockholm syndrome and I'm still mad at her, score: -1

Aww, Jessica already thinks she's evil enough.

I don't think this bodes well for Jessica and Hoyt, friends.  She already has ex-Jesus lover complex and thinks her soul is damned and she's not good enough for Hoyt.  Now this?  What next, pig's blood poured over her on prom night?! Poor Carrie Jessica.  Bill keeps Jessica from tracking the douchebags, scores himself: 1, Jessica gets fuel added to her firey pit of Hell, score: 1

Blah blah dark past blah.

Naked Sam, score: 1

"Finally!!" moment 3: Non-dreaming makeout for Eric and Sookie.

Well, damn.  That was all I wanted, and it took them long enough!  Well, actually, I want a lot more, but I think we're moving in the right direction here.  "Forces beyond my control" from Eric probably equals emotional response of any kind.  "If I don't at least kiss you before I meet the true death, Sookie Stackhouse..." maybe a little cheesy, but it would have worked on me too.  Way to kiss him back, Sook!  At least now she knows what she's been missing.  Pam interrupts with the most hilarious line EVAR, "Blah blah vampire emergency blah". Pretty much sums up every interruption scene in every episode to date. Way to go Pam! score: 2 Makeout Squee! factor: 7/10, scores Eric and Sookie: 1/ea

Hoyt on vampire blood = something to look forward to next week.

Tommy is a violent d-bag, we know.  Why did you need to be in dog form, Tommy?  Afraid you couldn't handle the Hoyt-inator?  Whutevz.  Jessica to the rescue with her miracle elixir!  Now she and Hoyt will be close in a whole new way that she probably knows nothing about, thanks to Bill the crappy maker!  Hooray!  Hopefully Hoyt's V-trip is as much fun as Jesus and Lafayette's. Anticipation of the aftermath earns Jessica, score: 1

How dare you, Bill Compton? Jason's in the right.

What, Bill's getting mad at people irrationally?  Weird.  Oh wait, that's what he does best.  Sookie is Jason's SISTER!  He's known her a little longer and is definitely more connected to her than you are, Vampire Bill.  Fuck off!  Storming into Jason's house and yelling at him like an errant child... how dare you, Bill Compton?  Major LOLz at Jason rescinding Bill's invitation into his house.  Why haven't we seen that yet?  Hilar.  Bill waves his douchey flag, score: -1, Jason stands up for himself and throws Bill out, score: 2

Crystal's a cat. Whutevz.

This is a half-hearted "Finally!!" moment, because I just do not care about Crystal or her fucked up family.  Her back story is trite and boring.  Yawn, yawn, eyeroll, yawn.  What the hell does she have over Jason?  She's a liar and waaaay more trouble than she's worth.  Were-panther?  Bitch, please.  Also, I am anticipating that her emancipation from the meth lab run by kitties is going to turn her into a Stage-5 clinger.  Meow.  This was hardly enlightening, Crystal, score: -1, Jason's "Momma" reaction, score: 1

Russel: "I wanted to kill Talbot myself"

In his current psychopathic state, I am sure that spending some "quality time" with a prostitute while calling him by his dead lover's name and then killing him made perfect sense to Russell.  Which was why this was so great!  Talk about a need for closure!  Lesson learned: never whore yourself out to a vampire.  Russell is not happy, score: 2

LOLZ. Sookie...

Well it certainly looks like Eric has thought of a use for Sookie as per Pam's suggestion.  Wonder what it could be!  The shot of him walking out of the Fangtasia basement after having chained up Sookie was LOLz. Way to dig yourself deeper, Eric.  I hope you didn't ruin it for long!  Bill's Sookie-sense was tingling, so she prolly won't be stuck down there for long.  Where are you microwave fingers now, girl?!  Eric has the most creative solutions, score: 2

The FINAL SCORE:

Jason with 5 points this week, is the winner of the episode!  Well deserved, Jason.  You shocked us by breaking your usual "whatever's easiest" policy, not playing dumb and manning up.  Thank you for not taking advantage of Tara.

Runners up:

Eric: 4

Pam: 3

Sam: 3

Sookie: 2

Jessica: 2

Terry: 2

Russell: 2

Arlene: 1

Hoyt: 1

Summer: 1

Bill: -1

Tara: -2

This episode was certainly better than last week's set-up o'rama.  Down to the wire time!  What will Eric do with Sookie?!  When will Russell strike?!  Will Bill stop being a jackass?!  Will Tara ever stop crying?! For answers to these questions and more, tune into True Blood, Sundays at 9pm on HBO.

Get creative or else!

Going from an idea presented in this post on io9.com and stemming from my desire to not waste my life so much and start writing more, I present this list of things.  It's a list of things that I like in a story, whether thematic, character driven, plot... pretty much anything.  If any or all of those things appear in a story, chances are, I like it.  It's in no particular order, I'm just flowing here.

The List, presented in list form:

• strong female characters who are neither vulgar nor slutty
• female characters who are both vulgar and slutty
• time travel
• magic
• dragons, talking or non
• drafty castles
• rituals
• prophecies
• overcoming physical challenges
• people getting beat up
• companion animals as characters
• strong silent types
• descriptions of kisses
• brooding male characters with something to hide
• people with important jobs who find themselves doing silly things (hit men in an elevator)
• one character thinking another character is dead, but they're not
• dramatic irony
• literary allusions
• immortal life, and discussing its ramifications 
• characters who hate other characters
• finding secret entrances to secret worlds
• may/december romances
• refusing to resort to violence
• preventing wars
• saving the world
• women in a military capacity
• dreams
• pseudo-scientific explanations for technologies that haven't been invented yet
• living on space ships or space stations
• treachery/treason
• aliens, friendly or otherwise
• non-humans living amongst humans as humans
• people spiraling into insanity
• people with unusual collections
• characters with catch phrases
• stories that inspire the reader to do something
• exposing the evil plot
• characters who are really good at their jobs
• characters who are really good at anything
• people suffering for their art
• contagious fatal diseases
• monsters
• seemingly insurmountable obstacles
• vampires
• prostitutes
• vampire prostitutes
• goody two shoes stalwart heroes and watching them fall from grace
• satan

Okay, that's it for now.  A good start, I think.  Also, totally sexxxed up my blog design.

TTFN,
Your friend, Jenn